Category Archives: Jokers

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Loose lips sink ships

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Caught in the act.

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Some B*stard sh*t down my chimney

(N.Morgan) You have to wonder what this guy did to tick someone off this badly. Wow! A Scottish householder returns home to find that some idiot has took a shit down his chimney. Mike Williams is furious as the chimney had only just been cleaned.. Mike raged: “I was just getting home from work when a neighbour ran up and said they had seen a wee ned (Scottish for ruffian) shitting down the chimney. “He’s even taken a wee photo on his phone.

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When I open the door the smell was incredible. “The wee bastards’s shite had landed in the grate, it was all over the place! “It was all on the rug in front of the fire. There’s no way it’ll brush out. What the hell am i going to say to the insurance? ‘Och, a ned shat down the chimney’? “If I get my hands on the little bastard I’ll kick him so hard in the arse he’ll never sh*t again.” A source at Grampian Police said the crime was “Unpleasant and unusual”.

SMT Vs Jason Derulo

Typical naughty antics from the SMT lot, leaves the public stunned!

Pastafari spaghetti dreadlock religion

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Lukáš Nový says the plastic kitchenware is a crucial part of his “Pastafarian” faith. (Nový’s archive)
A man who claims his religion requires him to wear a sieve on his head has been granted permission to use a photo of himself wearing it – on his official ID card.

Lukas Novy, a follower of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, says the plastic kitchenware is a crucial part of his “Pastafarian” faith, and he must wear it at all times to respect his deity; a monster made of spaghetti and meatballs.

Czech officials ruled that rejecting his request would be a breach of the country’s religious equality laws, and have subsequently turned the other cheek as the 28 year old, from Brno, updated his ID card with the controversial image.

The Church of the Spaghetti Monster first emerged in the USA in 2005 as a mockery of organised religion. Now the thousands of online followers insist that “Pastafarianism” is a genuine religion, and refer to their almighty as “His Noodliness”.

Followers claim that that universe was created by the ball of noodles after “drinking heavily”.

In a statement from Brno City Hall, spokesman Pavel Zara explained: “The application complies with the laws of the Czech Republic where headgear for religious or medical reasons is permitted if it does not hide the face.”

Fellow “Pastafarian”, known as Soorej Jones Pothoor, said he feels discriminated against because of his unrecognised religion: “They (people of other beliefs) tell that the Lord Jesus is the one who’ll save you, not a ball of Spaghetti you moron.” And I say, “How dare you call my lord a ball of spaghetti, what proof do you have that Jesus will save you, a book? We don’t even need a proof, it’s all around us.”.

The Czech Republic is the second country to accept the cooking utensil as official religious head gear, following Austria when businessman Niko Alm won the right to wear a similar sieve on his driving licence photo. Many countries still refuse to accept the pasta strainer as such, and other people in counties such as Poland have failed.

Dewsbury Drifters

Worth watching quiet funny…